You are the only one invited to “ Undersigned '', an exciting show at the

Last summer, I had the chance to conclude an agreement with the devil.

I sat down, contemplating my choice – what I could live without to acquire the only thing I wanted the most. It was not an arbitrary crossroads. In the last 40 minutes, I had confessed to the longtime objectives and romantic aspirations while revealing the details of my most intimate relationships. They were now weighed against me. I was told that everything could be mine, less what I would sacrifice. The contract would be restrictive, requiring a drop of blood.

I was left alone, a small Lancet seated in front of me. Candle's barely audible loop kept me company in an austere warehouse room, a setting that seemed illicit while the fragility of the little flame reminded me that I had to make a decision.

I was here because I had reserved a session with the “undersigned” of Yannick Trapman-O'Brien, a spectacle which he presents as a “psychological thriller for a”. Each production is personal and very individualized to its participant – the points of the detailed plot here may not reveal for each guest. Know, however, there is no question of condemning a life after fantastic death. “SOUSSIGNED” is based on our reality, a conversation that we have on our desires and our needs, and, at least for me, what aspects of my personality or my social circle that I would give up. Love and various relationships were on the table while I played with Lancet and planned to unravel my finger.

It was not a decision that I would take lightly. The performance of Trapman-O'Brien, after all, had created an atmosphere of overwhelming gravity. And I hadn't even seen it.

During most of the show, I was blindfolded when he was sitting in front of me, and he had left space while I was running through my life and the future that I started to imagine for myself. It is rare to participate in “undersigned”-after having brought it to last August, when I lived it, Trapman-O'Brien, based in Philadelphia, is back with a handful of dates this month. Limited ticketsAt the time of writing, remains.

Although it is comfortable with vulnerability and to have a tendency sometimes exceedI went to “undersigned” with apprehension. No subject, unless specifically requested, is prohibited. Our relationship with money, sex, religion, love, power and more are all equitable games, and the subjects are discussed in a setting that nods to the occult. However, “undersigned” has finally become something that looks like a therapy session, because I was invited to analyze my strengths and my weaknesses in terms of romance and faith.

Trapman-O'Brien, 32, has a unique ability to improvise, quickly twist my words and use them against me. There were no cards or magic tricks here. “SOUSSIGNED” is purely a meeting of minds, and those who treat it seriously will find it the most revealing.

My session was a showdown between empathetic and selfish trends; I didn't want any business, I said, unless all those who are potentially affected were happy, but such a request needed to take a figurative scalpel in other areas of contentment. It has therefore become a work of self-exam. If the rewriting of history and his life were possible, how much could I accept while looking at myself in the mirror?

Only it all started to twist. I went to expect to share some of my professional and romantic dreams. As the show progressed, however, a fear that I never make them.

“There is a huge act of care to provide people with a place where they can be confronted with themselves,” said Trapman-O'Brien. “For all that the themes and origins of this story are rooted in traditions and in things that are bad and sinister, I find that it is an incredibly affirmative piece to do. I am gobsmache by the generosity of people, and the courage to look at something frightening. I had people say something and then say: “ oh, I don't like it's true. '' ”.

Trapman-O'Brien pays attention to his words. A promise of “undersigned” is that what we are talking about during performance will never be discussed again. He will only reveal subjects that have been discussed. A veteran of the participatory theatrical scene of the East Coast, the previous show of Trapman-O'Brien, “The Telibrary”, was born from the Pandemic Covid-19, a whimsical telephone performance but with the open heart in which the vocal guests led us to literary reflections or to memories left by other calls.

“Sousssigned” began in 2019 as a commission for the Halloween party of a boss. Trapman-O'Brien reculed, not wanting to create a show on the theme of horror, but then became intrigued by exploring the concept of concluding an agreement with the devil. “SOUSSIGNED” only works because the choices do not feel like an experience of arbitrary thought; That is to say that it is not an acceptance game, let's say, inexpressible billions by abandoning a pet or a member. Throughout, the conversation with blindfolded eyes with Trapman-O'Brien consists of our emotional desires and needs, then need them in search of their root.

The goal? To emotionally disarm the guests by creating, in the words of Trapman-O'Brien, a “space without judgment”.

“One of the problems is the second where you open the idea of ​​an agreement with the devil, people expect them to be screwed,” explains Trapman-O'Brien. “I find people to negotiate against themselves. One of the most impactful things of the play is to talk to people about the reason why they continue to accept less than they wish. “I don't need my dream work. I just need a good job. ” But I told you you might have whatever you want.

The vulnerability inherent in the issue extends to its payment structure. A “undersigned” performance requires a “deposit” of $ 100, with slightly cheaper options for students and creation professionals. At the end of the show, the guests are presented with a notebook to write something personal to leave so that others can read, and an envelope containing 30% of their initial investment in cash – a recognition, reads the small characters of “undersignes”, of “The Gamble”, the guests take an openly revealing and potentially upset show.

“I think the best way to ask for something is to invite,” says Trapman-O'Brien. “And the best way to invite people in vulnerability is the vulnerability of your own vulnerability. We have talked about the gravity of the show. And I believe that a large part of what makes people ready to share is that I try to find as many places as possible to stick my neck.”

Trapman-O'Brien says he regularly hears those who participate, sometimes months later, with updates on their agreement. For me, I sat in the warehouse hall – the show is short Enflug escapes In Arlington Heights – for 45 to 50 minutes, reflecting on the ease with which I was ready to offer professional ambitions and personal relationships for something I believed would make me happy.

“There are a non-zero number of participants,” said Trapman-O'Brien, “who will hold out and say:” I know that I am not supposed to discuss it, but that happened “. Well, these rules concern your safety and mine, so I can say: “I don't know what you're talking about”. But this is what you mean to do in which you say things you need to do.

You can say that the greatest revelation for me with “undersigned” is how all this looked like all of this. About six months after participating in the production, there are times that I will find myself thinking of the show and the choice with which I was presented. If this future that I imagined for myself becomes a reality, a non-insignificant part of me will wonder what other forces were at stake.

Because when I left “undersigned”, I also left part of me behind: a drop of blood and an agreement signed with the devil.