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Roula Khalaf, editor -in -chief of the FT, selects her favorite stories in this weekly newsletter.
In April 2024, I developed a small bump on the side of my neck. It turned out to be Merkel cell carcinoma, rare and aggressive skin cancer that had already spread to my salivary glands. I suffered a nine -hour operation at the Royal Hospital in Marsden, where my salivary glands, 40 other glands and part of my shoulder were removed. Before radiotherapy, I was warned that I would lose my sense of taste and smell and that there was no guarantee that they would never come back. For the first time since my diagnosis, I cried.
I was not upset because it would affect my work. I have been a chef for 40 years. I know what works on a plate. I knew I could count on the chefs of my three restaurants, Spring In Somerset House in London and Marle and Hearth to Heckfield Place in the Hampshire. It was more sadness that I could never enjoy food again; It's summer and not to taste ripe fishing. “Who am I”, I thought, “without my palate?”
A week in radiotherapy, I started to notice the changes. Salted foods had a really salty taste. All that with Chilli was like the most spicy curry in the world. A teaspoon of sugar in my tea looked more like 20 spoonfuls and I could not taste tea. Everything else had the taste of wet fabric. Soon, even these flavors have faded and my taste went completely. After a month, I could barely swallow and suffer a lot. I knew I had to keep my calories, but I didn't want a food tube, so I had the farm in Heckfield Place to send me six liters of organic milk per week. That was all I was drinking. It was soothing and I didn't lose a kilo.
In May, a good friend suggested that I join her for a trip to Patmos. It would take two weeks after finishing the course of radiotherapy at the end of September, something to hope for. But at the end of treatment, I really felt frightened. After going to the Royal Marsden every day for weeks, seeing the same people, feeling this comfort and this camaraderie, I had become a little institutionalized. Although I still had no sense of taste or smell and no appetite either, I stayed in terms of plan and I flew to Patmos where we stayed in a beautiful guest house led by Maria Lemos, the founder of London in London Rainbow And Mouki Mouki Concept Stores, and her husband Gregoris. In October, the island was empty of rich travelers and calm allowed him to come back to the place where he is really.
Patmos is a small island of the Aegean Sea with more than 400 churches. After our arrival, we took a tour. He included a visit to the cave where St John wrote the book of the Apocalypse. I lit a candle and said a prayer. When I came out, I was convinced that I could feel the fruits of passion; It is a perfume that I really know as growing in Australia. But there was only barbarism fig and wild grenade in the surroundings. I mentioned it to the guide and he led me to about 15 meters to what turned out to be a small bush of passion fruit.
That evening, I could feel jasmine at the hotel. The next day, there must have been a marriage because the streets were bordered by myrtle and I could feel that too. When we got out on a boat, I could feel the salinity of the sea. My taste came back too. I could taste the pink petal in the jam, the tomatoes in the salad, the seizure of the grill on the octopus. Suddenly, my appetite came back and I couldn't stop eating. I think something on this island restored to me because I don't think it would have happened elsewhere.
I always have problems. I can't eat anything with the chili. Professionally, my relationship with food has also changed. I was such a control monster. Now the idea of controlling each starter or dessert that comes out in my restaurants has no interest. I made the decision after that that I would not go back to the kitchen, at least not full time.
I am 62 years old. Working in a kitchen is the game of a young person. For years, I didn't think there was an alternative. I didn't know who I was if I hadn't put my white jacket. But in a way, what happened last year gave me the freedom to move away and find another type of life. I always try to play my role in restaurants. There are a million things to do in addition to cooking and there is still a place for me as a guide. Later this month, my spring garden returns to the Chelsea Flower Show, this year in a collaboration with chef José Pizarro.
In the meantime, I love to eat again and the delicious food. I had white truffle pasta the other day. It was sensational. Maybe my tastes will change and will be completely different in a year. For the moment, I just feel happy to have my palace as is.
The culinary experience of Spring Garden at the Chelsea Flower Show this month takes place from May 20 to 24. To book a visit Springgarden.eventist.group
