Let's be really diplomatic on something fast: life is weird. Some days are wonderful. Some days are impossible and these days can easily scramble in weeks, sometimes months. When this happens, we need our community to be there so that we hold our hand and bring back to the time when we can amaze. And when a drop as this one arrives at our friends, we must be those who reach out.
Over the years, my friends and I have covered damaged land. Without the generosity and support of the other, these raw patches would have been extremely more difficult to travel. While my heart hurts when the hearts of my friends hurt me, I find a lot of joy to find ways to make them feel loved; To show them that, even if I do not cross the same thing as they are, I will cross it with them, hand in hand.
It may seem painful when someone you love hurts. We think we can do nothing; We feel powerless to change the situation. It's true, we may not be able to change what they are going through, but there are a lot of things we can do to have an impact on the well-being of our friends When they need it most.
Here are some things I have done for friends who are going through an approximate patch:
A basket of well-being goods
In my little circle of friends, we did several-and I received a few myself. My best friend of twenty-three years old is the queen, and I learned this skill from her. Almost always, it will understand a comfortable cover which is so delicious that you will not want anything more than rolling it around you in a tight cocoon. It is immediate comfort.
The other elements that you could consider when the reunification of a basket of well-being goods, in addition to comfort, are the taste (a treat like chocolate or a bottle of frothy water or another delicious drink); Pampering (Single -use facial masks, small hand lotions and lip balms are affordable means of helping your friend to fight); and entertainment (a book or game).
They don't need to cost a lot of money, and they don't need to be filled. Some articles have gathered and placed with love in a basket – the ship in which the articles come are often as exciting as the goods for me – will brighten up your friend's day. I know that.
Put a card by post
Even if they live five minutes from you, the mail has a particularly cathartic appearance compared to a text or an email. I keep a generous collection of stationery at home for this reason. A note of handwritten love to a friend telling them that you are thinking of them, you are there, you listen – is shamefully simple. I say shamefully because it seems to be a dying action, but it's so simple! And so rewarding for all parts. I will often slide into one of the These pretty little cards that my friend can open. He adds an element of play in addition to the surprise; Surprise and pleasure, if you want.
A poetry book
Rupi Kaur digestible poetry books are a thoughtful gift when a friend is going through a difficult period. More recently, I sent a book to a friend by a book Jenna Ceciliawhose words simmer with positivity, love and support. Or there is The puebloWho talks about the human condition in such a way that everyone can see themselves inside. And when the times are hard, feeling seen is a feeling of welcome.
Surprise coffee
When the pandemic separated for the first time from my loved ones and me, my husband and I found so much pleasure in depositing cafes in the houses of our friends. Joy on their surprised faces! It is such a simple gesture and yet it is something that they will not forget easily. I speak from experience because my friends surprised me with coffee, and this is one of the greatest gifts. If your beloved lives far, it will not work. A gift card is not the same, although a little encouragement to get out of the house and afford a coffee could go very far.
Encourage their hobby
The pandemic gave me many opportunities to practice my edifying skills in raw patch. Last summer, there was a time when the weight of the pandemic struck a boiling point for my husband. The work was busy and, frankly, he suited his soul (he has since changed his job). He likes to cook but for any reason, he had not spent a lot of time in the kitchen recently. As a little boost, my children and I gave him a kitchen book from a local minnesota chef. I wrote a card to him, telling him that I recognized the weight he was wearing. I encouraged him to go back to the kitchen, to do something he loved.
He fell hard for this cooking book, learning everything about local foods and the means to prepare them. For his birthday a few months later, his parents and I gave him a cooking class with the author of the kitchen book. Every Tuesday evening for ten weeks, he participated in an online course, taking notes and trying new ways to prepare simple dishes. In a way, the kitchen book has returned it to us. More than the book, more than the foods he learned to prepare, I think it was the act of buying the kitchen book, the handwritten card encouraging him to come back in the kitchen, the love we put in all of this.
If the person you love is not a great chef, you can push them towards one of their hobbies. Knitting, pottery, running – everything they like to do, quietly encourage them to recover it again. They can resist the start. In fact, I think the resistance is very likely. But if you can push them slowly, it will be really beneficial to them.
Life is a collection of moments and interactions, beautiful and blisters. It's short, it's weird, and it's unpredictable, but one thing we know about this is that we are supposed to make life together.
An evening (or in) together
Of all the ideas to help a friend, it is my favorite – and perhaps the most important. Make a night on your friend. Design a night when your friend can come as myself and talk about what it is feeling, or not Talk about what they feel, but just be yourself, no expectations at all. My suggestion is to choose a night in collaboration with your friend so that it works for their schedule and that they are not surprised by that (you must be in the right mind for a night all about you). Then you take the rest. Choose the location, which could be in a house, invite some of their close friends and design a night to show them that they count; that you care about them; that they deserve a night entirely devoted to them.
Going out in a restaurant or show, or even someone's house, is not always the best option. If this is the case, one night together via Zoom will be a second near. Think of baby showers or the birthday celebrations that you may have attended in the past two years. It could be like that – an event just for this person, not because they are a baby or forty. Showing your loved ones is, according to my experience, the best way to help them when you experience an approximate patch.
At the risk of seems trivial, each of these ideas is more on thought than anything else. Although a basket full of carefully organized goods is wonderful, a sincere handwritten card can do so much work for a friend who crosses something difficult. It is simply your presence and your desire to do something without Ask them what you can do for them. This part is important: when you ask your friend what they need, or tell them to know how you can help, you put the responsibility them. They don't need it; What they need is additional love and small gestures to remind them how important they are for you.
It must be said that if the rough patch that your loved one crosses is deep, dark and very annoying, it may need professional help, to which I cannot speak. Therapy is an excellent option (I have been on a bihebdomedary rate for some time now). I will also drop the Lifeline Prevention suicide website hereWith a phone number of 1-800-273-8255.
Life is a collection of moments and interactions, beautiful and blisters. It's short, it's weird, and it's unpredictable, but one thing we know about this is that we are supposed to make life together. And that means that it is on us to intervene when we see someone that we like to cross an approximate patch.
There is really the fine part on us.
Kolina Cicero is in love with stories – reading them, writing them, getting lost in them. The other things she likes include yoga, travel and taking cooking, Italian and writing lessons. His first children's book, Rosie and the Passe-Temps farmwas published in July 2020.
