Your mind makes interesting mathematics as you age. I receive persistent nausea by thinking about the speed at which the last twenty years have stolen. Month before My 40th birthday Last year, I continued to do the calculation:
If the next twenty years go as fast as the previous one, then I am already sixty – which means that I am already eighty.
Time x speed = life
I felt like a life -size cardboard cut of the new crisis of the forty -year -old.
At my horror, I continued to write through my disorientation. I felt like a woman walking on the board. Everyone told me that life was just beginning, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it slipped through my fingers every day – and I was helpless to stop it.
While my feeling of self-witnesses crack around me, I saw the lie focus:
We were told that we could be anyone and everything we wanted.
But the options are endless and time is limited.
This will never be added enough.
Faced with what my mathematics revealed on myself and the truth of time and speed, I saw my crisis told me how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. So I put my big girl pants, turned to the secrets that I had slipped carefully under my pillow at night, and I let them enter the light.
It was then that a new truth emerged to replace the lie:
You have everything you need in you.
You are whole. You are enough.
I was not in the despair of a decline in darkness. I wanted an experience that I had refused. Life did not survive and does not become. It was a question of being whole and feeling human and make room for joyDesire, pleasure, pleasure, connection, love and wonder.
Life was just beginning – and I learned to slow down and enjoy it.
Look slowly when life accelerates
In the middle of this call to slowness, my life accelerates. There will never be a more busy life season than this. My children flourish in themselves, and with it comes from friends, hobbies, sports and memories to do with family. Joe enters a season of his career where he wants to test his limits, develop in himself and see what is possible when he draws from his talent.
And me. I find myself today overflowing with energy to put in the world.
What do we do when the fullness of life threatens to sweep the ability to savor life itself?
I made progress at to slow down Every day, even when everything swirls around me. I started small, with the smallest adjustments. Today, I write about the reason why the slowdown in materials is so much for me and how I practice slowness in this season responsible for life.
Why slow down to me
I'm tired. It was one of the great secrets that I had hidden under my pillow. Life is busy and I no longer have the energy to inflate myself and cheerleader. What I can do, however, is slowed enough to notice it when I need rest.
The dichotomy of being tired of the bones and having a renewed meaning of the goal in life is fascinating. It is like learning to tame a new type of beast, which responds to tenderness rather than a dominator and alpha type control. Life is busy, getting things done with it, and pleasure is also important. So what does balance look like? How is the slowdown even possible in a season responsible for life?
I don't have a perfect system. But I am not willing to return “to follow” or to feel an omnipresent sense of lack. Instead, I have an approach based on values, a desire to continue to practice these habits and a lot of forgiveness for me. Because I'm tired. And I'm alive.
How to slow down: 7 ways to slow down in a season responsible for life
1. Listen to the physical signals.
When I rush into life, I noticed that my rhythm is reflected through physical clues of my body. Some examples include:
- A tight jaw
- Short and shallow breaths and finding unfortunate to breathe deeply
- A tight socket on the wheel when I drive
- Be curved shoulders
- Clumsiness and drop things down
By practicing slowness, the most important thing for me is to notice and gently redirect these physical responses. I unravel my jaw, take some slow and deep breaths, loosen my grip on the steering wheel and sit straight with relaxed shoulders. Keep in mind that your physical responses to the agitation can be different from mine. Listen to what they are for you and slowly start redirect them.
2. Monotasque.
All my life, I tended to do several tasks. At one point last month, I was flanted, wrote an invitation and sent SMS at the same time. When I rush into life and do several things at the same time, I feel more stressed and I am much more likely to make mistakes.
Now when I notice myself multitasking, I try to redirect. I stop, I choose something to focus on and I go to the following thing once I'm finished.
3. Lower my expectations.
Even if I made the slowdown in a priority, I sometimes had the impression that I should be able to meet the same expectations as me when I rush into life. When I logically think about it, I know it's impossible.
I have not yet perfected the art of defining expectations, but I try to be more honest with myself. I try to communicate what is possible with the people of my life. When I don't do everything, I try not to insist on this subject. Because most of the time, if I am totally honest, the things I feel to do to do can wait. Most of the time, he can wait.
As I wrote in a Recent article at home“When I can't rush through it, I have to do less, and do fewer means, I have to know what is important.” It brings me to my next point:
4. Focus on what is most important.
There are still things that must be done every day, whether for my work or my personal life. I have always had a tendency to procrastinate when I feel overwhelmed, which is only future stress and precipitation. I do what I can to change this trend. Instead of avoiding it, I learn to sit with the impulse to procrastinate and the discomfort of doing difficult things.
When I feel overwhelmed, I find it useful to accomplish a small easy task first. This little achievement gives me a little boost to dopamine, ignites the momentum and makes me feel capable of doing something else. I will then go to a greater and high priority task and give myself enough (more than I think) to finish it. By giving me time and space to complete what is important rather than avoiding it entirely, I care about my current and future ego.
5. Remove the filling.
I am better able to slow down in my daily life when I have more time to lose. The decrease in the time I spend in distractions – like responding to each text message and scrolling on my phone – makes a slower rhythm of living plausible.
I have also become ruthless with myself about what I really like to consume. I will opt to sit down quietly rather than listen to a podcast. I noticed that most television shows on Netflix are not worth time.
But this is what you want. No one can tell you what you like.
So be selective on what you are entertaining. If devouring reality TV is restorative, prioritizes it. If it feels like a distraction, let go. You alone can be honest with yourself on what attracts your precious attention. Hand it as if it was up to you.
6. Accept my humanity.
Accepting my humanity is a crucial step to give me the grace to slow down. I had a recent two -week section when I made more mistakes than usual – all with repercussions to my pride and my family – and that made me vibrate in reality.
I can fight errors, but that does not make me special, broken or different from anyone.
Fuck –a lot-is part of life. This is something we all share.
It is also one of the best ways to connect with people. In the absence of perfection and optimization, we have the possibility of connecting to what the human being means. We tend to believe that we will be rejected if we are talking about our lived experience, but this is often not the case.
Yes, people judge – And honestly, there is no better way to understand who you need to start your inner circle – but there are a lot of people (those you likely keep) who will feel seen and validated through your mistakes. The slowdown helped me break the cycle of self-radiation and opened opportunities to deepen my relationships.
7. Set the interpersonal limits.
The slowdown sometimes requires saying “no”. One of the ways I had to set limits in this life season is Say no to travel around vacation. It is uncomfortable. I don't like it. But when we are honest with others about our limits, we are nice. We say, I want to be with you when I can * be * with you. Not as a complement, additional or obligation. No one wants that.
With people closest to us, it can be difficult and uncomfortable to set limits. But you abandon the truth of your experience when you say “yes” to everything. We believe that it is altruistic, but in doing so, we do not allow people who like us to support ourselves in which we must be supported.
Time is a funny thing. The slowdown when life accelerates is terrifying. It is until you realize that there is more life to live when you are there to do it fully.
Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning to play tennis and is forever Test the limits of his creative muscle. Follow her on Instagram at @WitandDeLight_.
