As I get older, I learned the virtues of stopping before reacting, especially when I am stressed or upset. (Oh, as I want it to be easier to remember that in the moment!) I realized that the secret behind “the break” – which is beneficial both in parenting and navigation on other relationships – does not understand how to make yourself at ease with not react. And that means getting comfortable to be motionless, even if all our instincts could say the opposite.
Calm is not something that you do perfectly. It is not necessarily a meditative state. In this way may be another way of judging yourself. On the contrary, immobility is to stop and notice. It is a muscle which, when exercised, will become stronger over time.
There is A quote from Cargle Rachel I recently read who really hit the house for me:
Life can simply be lived.
You don't have to:
Prove that anyone wrong …
make someone proud …
Change the world …
Leave a lasting heritage …
You can just introduce yourself, find joy, be good with you and be good with others, learn pain, keep it responsible, savor in wonder and do this thing.
We are very likely always going to work to find immobility, because a large part of what it embodies goes against what we have learned about what it means to be an “adult”, especially in American culture. We were taught to keep goingat all costs; This productivity is the most estimated way in which we can designate our value. It is a state of mind that I continually try to unravel. I am continually trying to remember what Rachel expressed – that I can simply live a life, no necessary expectations.
Immobility consists in stopping and noticing. It is a muscle which, when exercised, will become stronger over time.
The practice I share with you today is one of them for me. It is a question of allowing me to take a break, even when everything in me tells me to Continue, no break required. I hope you find it as useful as I am.
Practice
Taking breaks is something that we all have to work. Over time, I realized that I only needed a five-minute break to get away, check with myself and reset. Whenever I start to feel a feeling of overwhelming, I will stop, I will withdraw from the current project or task, and I intentionally take five minutes.
The goal is to do this when you start to feel a little uncomfortable. According to my experience, if you leave these feelings of discomfort or stress going too far without speaking to them, it can take longer to get off.
Why did I started doing it
Before this practice, I often felt checked during the day, become agitated or tired and feel this feeling of discomfort. Previously, what I would do in Overwelm in response was to make a new project appear or try to bite even more, before I finally reached my point of rupture and tears it away.
Take a five -minute break when I need, it helped me learn to notice and react when I enter a state of sensory submerged. This allows me to trust myself and my ability to listen, to meet and meet my needs. The more you practice this response cycle, the more your system can cure. Things can still be triggered, but you will not be taken so often in this model to overwhelm.
For me, this practice started when my therapist introduced me versatileand the effect vagus nerve has regulated your parasympathetic nervous system. The feeling of discomfort and overwhelming is called to be in a mobilized state. The purpose of a healthy parasympathetic nervous system is to go back and forth from a state mobilized to a relaxed state without being caught in the professional exhaustion phase when you have been mobilized for too long. This practice helped me to regulate my emotions more effectively, so I am now rarely stuck in the mobilized state.
Here's how it fits into my daily life
Several times a day, I stop intentionally and I register with myself. I lie down and listen to myself, doing a body scan to notice what I feel. The more I make these records, the easier it is to do them on the automatic driver.
I wonder what I need exactly. Would it be nice to sit and breathe simply? Would it be nice to put away my clothes? How about cuddling dogs? Would it be nice to get up and walk for a few minutes? I react and do everything you need in the moment, taking a five -minute break from the project or the current task for simply be.
If you are someone who has trouble recognizing what you need, I found that sometimes answer the prompt “I am _____” rather than “I need ____” can be more useful (for example, I'm hungry,, I'm stressed, I'm alone). Your answer will also inform you of your needs, but you will arrive at this response via a different objective.
I understand that it is a privilege to be able to take this time for me. Even if you don't have five -minute concrete breaks in your daily schedule, I hope these recordings could simply be a moment to turn inward for a few seconds and take a few breaths and go out.
The biggest point to remember that I learned from this practice is how different it feels compared to other self-assistance tactics that I have tried to implement. It seems soft and light, against heavy and depends on the will. It becomes easier over time, rather than becoming more difficult to respect. And I think that in the end, it is the secret sauce. It is a question of finding ways to take care of you that adapt transparently your Life as it is right now.
Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning to play tennis and is forever Test the limits of his creative muscle. Follow her on Instagram at @WitandDeLight_.
