“Feel your feelings” is advice that looks like unavailable. Like, no shit, Sherlock. We are all built to feel feelings, just as we breathe and digest the food and pump blood through our veins without a thought. And it is true – we climb on the waves of our emotions on the automatic pilot because life is overwhelming and watching what bubbles under your subconscious can threaten the delicate balance of things.
Unfortunately, Research shows Decades of repressed emotions can manifest itself in various physical and psychological affections – from autoimmune problems to hypertension to cancer. In their twenties, my therapist told me that if I had not started to manage my stress, my body would find a way to manage it for me. I could choose to feel my feelings or to face a bigger and more debilitating waste in the future.
When I was thirty-nine years old, these words carried more weight. My cholesterol had slipped, I felt slow and apathetic, and worse, I felt trapped in my habits. I was too tired to use the will to intimidate my way in submission. I no longer had the energy to fight or flee. And I did not know where to start freeing the pressure valve without exploding my life.
Treat my great feelings
In a way, I blew up a part of my life. I “Quit” Wit & Delight Because it existed in its previous form to avoid feeling the shame of failure. In the most debilitating and disorienting moments, a small voice would tell me to write. If you can do one thing today is writing.
Writing – Through these tests and my morning journalization– helped me treat what did not seem flexible in my mind. On paper, problems seemed smaller. I could see where I was lying, unable to face the truth. I could see where I just needed to be loving and compassionate to the part of me that seemed completely terrified. When I kept everything in my head, it was easier to stay in darkness. It was easier to hate me. When the words hit the page, I could see my pain, have compassion for my suffering, realize that my experiences connected me to other humans and, therefore, recognizing that I felt what was true.
I have achieved whenever we have a deep reaction to something – whether joy, rage, desire or disgust – we have these feelings because we care. Anyway, it is important for us. And I found it really beautiful. It was the first time that I understood that my feelings were not something to fear, but signs pointing to me.
I have achieved whenever we have a deep reaction to something – whether joy, rage, desire or disgust – we have these feelings because we care. . . . It was the first time that I understood that my feelings were not something to fear, but signs pointing to me.
When I look back in old reviews, I often find that I wrote on the same things again and again in circles. I treated my thoughts without considering the feelings that I felt in my body accordingly.
Today, I write on a more targeted approach to journalization that puts feelings in front and at the center. I want to share my learning with you because they have changed my perspective and my life. This is because I listened to this idiot of “unavailable” and I started writing what was true, not only what I could face.
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A first approach to feeling journalization
Many journalization exercises focus on thoughts, but I have drawn the best party from my journalization practice when I look beyond thought at the feeling I need to release. I have often found myself ashamed of my emotional reaction to what is happening in life, but it is shame that maintains these stuck feelings. Journalization offers a safe place to express and treat them.
When I start with what's going on in my body, I have access to the information that I cannot reach when I am in my head. No matter what my thoughts are swirling, the treatment of the resulting emotion and letting it pass through me is what helps me to overcome it.
My journalization invites you to treat emotions
Start by responding to the prompt, How do I feel now? If you want to focus on a specific situation in your journalization, answer rather at the prompt, How does my body feel when I think of the thing that bothers me?
So ask yourself, Where in my body am I experiencing the feeling? Do you feel pressure in your chest? Your right shoulder? Under your collarbone? How does that do it? Like an electric current? Like a solid mass? Is it sticky or mud or thorny? Give the feeling a complete physical manifestation – assign them such as weight, color, texture and smell. There are no bad answers.
Then respond to prompts, What is this feeling trying to tell me? What does I want me to know right now?
Give the feeling a voice. Let him talk to you without judgment. Once you let him speak, thank everything that came out. Assist what he should tell you. Give him no sense, try to repair it or push it back.
When I start with what's going on in my body, I have access to the information that I cannot reach when I am in my head.
Journalization takes practice
If this process seems overwhelming or if your emotions are difficult to unlock, do not forget this: journalization takes practice. Over time, its effects are becoming more and more deep. I encourage you to engage in the process once a day for a week, ideally in the morning (or each time you feel most clearly). Throughout the week, if you notice something that triggers you, note the thought and / or the feeling while it is in your mind instead of repelling it. Then you can come back to it later in your journalization.
I hope you at least consider what you consciously feel like the tip of the iceberg of what you live unconsciously. Avoiding our emotions is a form of control. It is we who hang on to what hurts because changing and freeing things that hurts us means that we are entering an unknown part of ourselves – an unknown future where we do not know what to expect. So give yourself a certain grace. This may seem something that we should easily do, but most of us have been conditioned to contain the truth of our feelings. As a result, we have eliminated a wonderful type of inner wisdom and a deeper connection with the world around us.
Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning to play tennis and is forever Test the limits of his creative muscle. Follow her on Instagram at @WitandDeLight_.
