Listen. There are a lot of introverts that observe the world by turning, quietly contributing as much as everyone – just differently. It is an extroverted world, and trying to find our place inside can be exhausting to the point where a single work meeting can remove it from the introverts, not to mention a day of meetings. Add to that the inherent need to spend time with family and friends, and an introvert can be pulved the moment they return home.
We are told not to think about life in terms of pie: when you take a piece of my pie, it means that I have fewer pieces for me. But when it comes to introverts and our precious energy, life East Like a pie, and extroverts can leave us without knowing it with simple crumbs after social interaction. It is not exactly acceptable to refuse all the social interaction offers because of wanting to keep our pieces of pie, or in good health. So, what is an introvert to make when there are so many requests on their time when we expect it to be happy and outgoing, a quantifiable addition?
I'm not going to talk hard because it's against my nature, but I'm here to remind you of your other introverts take care of yourself. It is normal to need time alone to decompress, to obsess everything you said and everything you want you to have said instead. And it is also going, if your unfolding looks like television and a comfortable cover, a cup of tea. Maybe some thetes with a puppy.
It is not exactly acceptable to refuse each social interaction offer. . . . So, what is an introvert to make when there are so many requests on their time when we expect it to be happy and outgoing, a quantifiable addition?
I think it comes down, it is to do the number one and, although there are many other important things outside of you, remembering that the number one before everything else. Here is the important thing: I'm not talking about going to get a pedicure once a month. I speak of day after day, the pricing of space for silence and reflection, by engaging in your own needs for time alone, but you want to pass it.
I have in no way controlled the way in which the introvert to take care of yourself, but I learned in recent years how to manage my introversion in a world where I expected again and again with energy and charisma.
Here are some recommendations for practicing personal care as an incomplete:
Create limits, then stay with them
If you need fifteen minutes between work meetings, ask for this space. Plan it. Refuse to meet if he encroaches on your time on your part. I know it's much more complicated than that, and say no is not always easy (or possible), but you have your work for a reason. You are good at what you do and no one does it like you. If the people you work with want this version of you, they must respect your needs. And your needs could very well be a quick walk or a ten -minute meditation between meetings. You will bring yourself much more to these meetings if you cut yourself the time necessary to really be This person.
Do your colleagues make consecutive meetings all day? They are probably extroverts. And if not, look at their energy decreases during the day. We are not supposed to be go-go all day without a little time to take a break, breathe and treat what we have just experienced, but it seems that so many peoples schedules are designed in this way, this is why I do not back down on my claim (which is not unique) that we live in the world of an extrovert.
This is also important with friends and family. I have a very close group of friends who meet each time we can. Which, now that we have ten children between us six girls, is not just as often. In conversations with some of the group's extroverts, I told them that I am not the kind of person who can have plans every night. While some of us prefer to do things in head, when it comes to seeing my friends, I all prefer at the same time. I need time to recover after an evening with them. I bring as much as possible to a birthday dinner or to a trip to a brewery, and afterwards, I am ready to locate myself in my room and to let silence and relaxation to restore me. It is not plausible for me to spend an equal amount of time with everyone, therefore, as far as my loved ones is concerned, I always try to see them together.
We are not supposed to be go-go all day without a little time to take a break, breathe and treat what we have just experienced.
It will seem different to you, but as an introvert, you will probably feel exhausted after spending time with friends or family, no matter how much you love them. If you Give yourself limitslike agreeing to join your parents for Sunday dinner –if Your sister can also come – so you will preserve your energy for some of the other things that matter to you.
Evaluate your opportunities with “Utils” (or your own type of measure)
Utils (“you-touls”) are hypothetical units that measure satisfaction, used in economics. Wikipedia definition It is fragile (scrolling to the functions section) and it is the only one I can find. A long time ago, I had a partner who had awarded a number of uses to things like buying a new chair or wakeing up five minutes earlier to enjoy coffee. He asked, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, how much a certain thing I discussed would use would give me. We used a scale of 1 to 10; 1 being no satisfaction and 10 being the largest. Together, we used this unit of measure to help us make decisions. It is surprisingly effective given the simplicity of the idea.
I encourage you to try. How many uses an evening with your best friends would it give you? 8 Utils? How many nights, eating Thai food and reading Give you? 5? 9? Your answer should help you make your decision.
I am not an economist! Just an introverted clinging to a bizarre way to measure satisfaction. But I tell you, there is something to attribute values to things like meetings, dinners and happy hours that do this resolutely non -scientific way to measure the work of satisfaction.
Side note: if you are an economist and you are offended by my too simplistic explanation and my use of the utility, I invite you to leave a comment to enlighten us!
Measure yourself in relation to your own success measures, not someone else
We, introverts, are observative people. We take a lot of things that take place around us, and that's something to see. Less impressive, however, is our tendency to compare us to others. I have to remember it literally every day while I hack my novel during several years. I heard someone on a podcast say not to compare your draft with the final projects of others, and it shook me. I spent so much time observing those around me and measuring my own success against theirs, running out more after the exhaustion that I get social interaction.
The goal of spending time with people is to fill our cups (that, and to earn a salary; often that requires being with people). Measuring yourself against the parameters of the success of others is harmful and will insulate you more about obtaining your community, group of friends, family and place of employment. Look at the interactions with these people who are fortunate to be in your life as opportunities to fill your cup (even if you may have to rest after its drunk).
Introverts: We have to take care of us. And while we are there, take care of each other. We can create limits And We can respect the limits of others. We can celebrate the success of our friends And Do not compare them to ours.
Whatever we do, remember what number one is. Nothing comes before number one.
Kolina Cicero is in love with stories – reading them, writing them, getting lost in them. The other things she likes include yoga, travel and taking cooking, Italian and writing lessons. His first children's book, Rosie and the Passe-Temps farmwas published in July 2020.
